digitalphiltrum

i have never been the biggest fan of the holiday season. its not that i hate christmas specifically, or that im opposed to spending time with family in general, its more that christmas and the christmas season seems to bring out the worst in my family. i know that there are a great many people out there who truly love spending time with their family, and im happy for them. but on the opposite side of that is my family – we truly just do not like each other. i like my brother, most of the time. and occasionally i like a few other select family members, but for the most part i think we all agree that we really can’t stand one another. and yet, there is christmas. despite the fact that ignoring each other works perfectly well for the majority of the year, there is something about christmas that makes everyone feel like they should want to spend time together. so then the guilt sets in – i know im supposed to really want to see you and spend “quality time” together, but i really can’t stand you, but now i feel guilty because i don’t want to see you, so im going to force myself to see you. the hilarious part about this whole thing is that the other person feels exactly the same way. my question is, why do we feel like we have to like our family members? Theres nothing wrong with not liking some people you went to school with, or some of your coworkers, but for some reason we feel guilty when the person we can’t stand is a direct relative. i dont think theres anything wrong with agreeing that there isnt a single thing about each other that you find even relatively interesting. you agree to it, you move on, life is peachy. but when no one wants to say anything, and everyone shows up out of obligation, you end up with my family at christmas. but i go, every year, because i feel like i should. so next year – next year i’m thinking about telling everyone im going to mexico for christmas, to spend the holiday somewhere warm and sunny. i don’t actually need to go anywhere, i just need everyone to think i am gone, so that i can escape my own guilt. i know, i sound a little crazy, but trust me, you’d have to meet my family to understand why this is a perfectly logical response.