i think ive noted before that i suffer from chronic quarter-life crisis syndrom. i fell into a “what do i do now” rut at 21 and, 4 years later, am still trying to climb out. during my climb, ive had a lot of time to think (sometimes more than i want) and ,as an american, ive done what every american strives to do, and that is over-evaluate the situation as much as possible and attempt to identify the obvious single cause (and correct it – of course). but the conclusion ive come to is that its not a single cause, its a myriad of things that just happen to come together at once port-college, and a lot of it has to do with freedom. its not really quarter-life crisis – its getting used to the ho-hum of the real world and letting go of the extended childhood that was college. its coming to realize that the pursuit of “the american dream” is not in fact what you thought it would be. some people are made for corporate america – this is the life they dream of – but for me, its empty. the corporate ladder has never much interested me. the whole structure is built on the assumption that your main driving force is to obtain more power (i say power, not money, because in western society, money = power). but i am left out of that structure because my main driving force is not in fact power. id like to tell you what my main driving force really is, but honestly, i havent figured it out. i think figuring that out is something i will focus on for the next few months.
i saw a quote today over at No Impact Man that i really liked. its from Jerome M. Segal’s Graceful Simplicity: Toward a Philosophy and Politics of Simple of Living :
“The point of an economy, even a dynamic economy, is not to have more and more; it is to liberate us from the economic–to provide a material platform from which we may go on to build the good life. That’s the alternative American dream.”
NIM asks his readers “what would you do if you were liberated from the economic”. im still contemplating that. the possibilities are endless.
j and i are taking a vacation next week. we are heading south to ft lauderdale and then taking a cruise to the bahamas for a couple of days. for the most part i will be completely disconnected from the world for those 6 days. it is my intention to use this time to simply relax and let go. maybe when i return my mind will be a little less cluttered.