baltimore pride parade

if you recall, the weekend before last was my “big weekend of gay!”, in which i attended the baltimore pride parade and pride festival as well as the ani difranco concert in dc.

WELL —this past weekend i decided just to keep the gay a flowin and headed up to new york for the NY pride parade. now that was gay. NY made baltimore look like the motel 6 of pride parades (dont worry baltimore, i still love you anyway).

ny pride parade

a quick recap:

we started off pride weekend in NYC by spending our day at the met and our night at henrietta hudson bar and girl, which was a good time. this is where julie and deirdre discovered that, in the lesbian community, it is perfectly normal to molest people and grab their ass instead of just casually laying your hand on their back as you pass them on the dance floor. i danced, drank cheap beer, and got a good smack on the ass from some drunk girl – a good way to start the weekend off.

GO magazine float

saturday night we headed to hoboken, nj for a birthday party for one of deirdre’s coworkers. i dont like nj. never have, never will (no offense to anyone who lives there, im sure its a lovely state…once you get used to it). it was an uneventful and laid back night (for me).

then there was sunday. i thought it was going to turn out to be a pretty miserable day – first the bitch at dunkin donuts forgot to put my donut in the bag, so i didnt have a proper bad-for-you breakfast, then we left queens later than i had wanted to, then it started pouring and deirdre’s umbrella was broken and….you see where this is going.

deirdre and her broken umbrella

BUT, we got a great spot to watch the parade and the rain stopped shortly after the parade started; all in all – things turned out really good. we watched the parade for hours and i took home beads and free condoms (just what i need!) as well as over 200 pics. words alone cannot describe the craziness that is the NY pride parade, so i have included some pictures here instead. AND you can see the rest on my flickr site!

drag queen poses for us

Next Magazine float

NYC male nudists

men in costume

an interesting one, but probably one you wont ever use (though if you frequent art museums, this might be a great word to whip out)

thrion (three – on) n : a fig leaf used to cover the genitalia.

To be yourself, in a world that tries, night and day, to make you just like everybody else – is to fight the greatest battle there ever is to fight, and never stop fighting.
e.e. cummings

this past weekend can be called nothing else other than the big weekend of gay for me.

firstly, it was gay pride weekend here in baltimore, which started off with a parade through mt. vernon on saturday afternoon and then continued with a festival/block party into the night. parking was awful, it was 90°, and there were so many people i could barely move – but it was a blast. one thing you can always count on from pride is some seriously awesome people watching. from drag kings to and queens to men in wings and ass-less leather, there was a ton of entertainment no matter where you went. i came home with a bag full of flavored condoms, a ton of mardi gras beads, and a little rainbow in my heart (all things i clearly needed). i took some pictures, but im lame and i havent downloaded them from the camera yet. im going to try to get them up at least onto my flickr site soon so that everyone can enjoy the awesomeness that is baltimore pride.

now that alone is more than enough gayness in one weekend for little me, but then i continued my weekend of gay by heading down to dc to see ani difranco play at the 9:30 club. AWESOME concert. ani put on a great show, as always. shes such an incredible entertainer, and i love the fact that she mixes in social and political commentary. i mean really, what good is being an artist if you dont use your visibility to try to make a difference? i hear a lot of criticism about artists who get up on stage and try to share their opinions or ideas or promote charities but, to paraphrase margaret cho, theyre artists, they create art, and isnt art supposed to comment on society? isnt that the point?

and, as if that wasnt enough gayity all on its own, next weekend im off to new york city for NY Pride (and some general drunken debauchery with deirdre). now those will be some good pictures…

on occasion – and id like to say rare occasion, but that would be a lie – i have the sudden overwhelming urge to immediately re-read something i have read in the past. i have often wondered if that was a normal literary geek thing, or if im really just that crazy, but the conclusion i usually come to paints me in a less than favorable light, so i will leave that discussion for another time and return back to the task at hand, which is…

today, i had a sudden desire to re-read one of my favorite books on writing, Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. it was the first book i ever read that approached the topic of writing without all the holier-than-thou crap that im used to getting from writers writing about writing. no fluff, no idealistic crap, just simple, brutal honesty. and it works. the book is both inspirational and motivating while often very funny as well. i loved it.

anyway, the problem is, when i get the urge to re-read something, i really HAVE TO re-read it. or else it will drive me insane. sort of like when you are trying to think of a word for something and you know that you know the word and you can almost recall it but it just isnt coming to you and the more you try to think about it, the more frustrated you become….yeah, kinda like that. though, unlike the word, which will probably come to you some odd hours later at a very inconveniant and random moment, the text of the book will not suddenly pop into my head. so…to scratch the itch, i simply google the book and look for passages online. which is what i did today. after finding the passage i am about to share, i think i understand why i was craving this book so much. anne lamott has an incredible talent for putting into words ideas we might know but not quite understand.

ive been feeling recently like im just not getting anywhere with my life. nothing seems to be going the direction i want it to. and more annoyingly, some things seem to be going in two different directions at the same time. what this amounts to is that i feel like im not only dissatisfied with myself and my situation, but disappointed as well. which just blows. but i found this passage from Bird by Bird today, and if nothing else, if offers a gentle reminder that the person most in need of our patience and understanding sometimes is often ourselves.

I am learning slowly to bring my crazy pinball-machine mind back to this place of friendly detachment toward myself, so I can look out at the world and see all those other things with respect. Try looking at your mind as a wayward puppy that you are trying to paper train. You don’t drop-kick a puppy into the neighbor’s yard every time it piddles on the floor. You just keep bringing it back to the newspaper. So I keep trying gently to bring my mind back to what is really there to be seen, maybe to be seen and noted with a kind of reverence.

maybe i should write down “bring the puppy back to the newspaper” and pin it up over my desk.

word of the day today:

lucubrator (LOO–kyoo–BRAY–tur) n : A person who studies at night.

It comes from the Latin lucubrare, which means “to study by lamplight”.

today, i am officially a blogger.

i have had this blog for almost a year now, but have never obtained full “blogger” status due to my lack of the the ever so important “100 things!” list. its like the blogosphere right of passage—thall shalt create a 100 things list!—and while ive had it started for a long time, ive just been too lazy to finish it. but then someone asked me about it so i thought maybe i should finally finish that bitch up. so, today i step up and accept my official blogger status, standing side by side in history with all the great bloggers who have gone before me. ladies and gentlemen, i present to you, the great one hundred things list!

Originally posted June 2, 2003

**

Cagli, Italy – day 10. Communication withdrawal has set in. We decide that emergency internet access is the only cure. In hopes of connecting to the outside world, if only for a brief amount of time, Rose, Katie, Jenn and I dash out of the Atrium, our home away from home—far away from home—as soon as class ends at 4 o’clock. Our mission must be completed by 5 when the next class will begin. The afternoon thunderstorm is in a temporary lull, most likely building up its strength for the next downpour. A light mist still falls around us and we know that at any moment the storm could awaken, but its a risk we are willing to take. If we didn’t stand out before in this little Italian town,we certainly do now. In Cagli, no one runs. There is no rush to get anywhere or to do anything here. But we are Americans, and Americans run—especially when email is involved. Rushing down the street, I can’t help but wonder how ridiculous we must look. Four American girls darting clumsily through narrow, stone-paved streets, screaming, “Car!” everytime a vehicle edges up on our heels wanting to pass. Our flip-flops smack noisily against the wet street as mud splashes up on our legs. Four awkward, rushed, mud-splattered Americans, desparate for a high-speed DSL reconnection with the people they have left behind at home.

We cross over the bridge to New Cagli, the newer part of town, single-file on what could almost pass for a sidewalk if it was only a few inches wider. Rounding the corner, we reach our destination, a computer retail store that we pretend is an internet café because it is the only place in town with a public internet connection. We burst through the door, panting heavily. Our hair is dripping and our feet are muddy, but we hardly notice—we made it, we are triumphant. And there is plenty of time left to read, compose, attach and send. Davide, the owner of the store, greets us with a warm smile. It is a familiar Cagliese gesture. The people of this town seem to welcome us with patience and love. Our American ways are unpolished, loud and usually rude, though unintentionally so, yet the Cagliese don’t seem annoyed, only mildly amused at our strangeness. And we certainly are strange.

After half an hour of speed-reading and rapid fire typing, my fellow students and I must sever our world wide link and return to class. The brief communication we have achieved reveals the odd truth that, while our absence at home is noticed, life continues to go on as usual. I am both comforted and humbled by this. But there’s no time to ponder—its almost 5. A quick glance out the door and we see that the storm has begun to rage again. Jenn has already darted ahead, but the rest of us remain, staring inquisitively at one another, trying to figure out what to do. Davide senses our dread as we watch the rain droplets smacking heavily against the pavement, and he offers us a ride.

In America, we would be skeptical of this offer, but in Cagli there is no reason to fear human kindness. We accept with a resounding Si! Grazi! (Yes! Thank You!). Davide drops us off in the town piazza just a short distance from the Atrium and we make our way casually back as the rain begins to subside again. There is no need to rush now. Our mission has been accomplished, communication achieved.

On June 5, 1981, the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) released a report on 5 cases of severe pneumonia in previously healthy, young gay men in Los Angeles, two of which had died. By July the CDC had reported that 26 cases of Kaposi Sarcoma, a rare cancer usually only seen in elderly men of Mediterranean or Jewish heritage, had been reported in previously healthy, young gay males, 8 of which had died, all within 24-months of diagnosis.

In its early days, it was called GRID, for Gay Related Immune Disorder, and its cause was unknown. Later it would be linked to blood and renamed Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, AIDS. 25 years later the disease has claimed the lives of over 25 million people. At this time, it is the worst world-wide epidemic we have ever known. And while there is a lot of research going on and some great advances have been made in the way of treatments, we are still a long way away from a vaccine or cure. The biggest thing we have to overcome with AIDS though is the ignorance and stupidity.

I can still remember sitting through an AIDS education assembly in the third grade where they told us that we had to be careful about touching other kids cuts or scrapes, and that we could catch AIDS from kissing and public toilet seats. Clearly, we have come a long way in our understanding of the disease and how to prevent and treat it. But not really as far as youd think.

When Loyola was in the process of establishing its gay dorm, Stonewall house, in the spring of 2003, I actually heard people say they didn’t want to live there (or their parents didn’t want them to live there) because they were afraid of AIDS. That just blew my mind. Here are these soon-to-be college graduates, living in the information age, who still believe that AIDS is a “gay disease” and the gay communities problem – not theirs. Absolutely amazing. And of course they know how stupid they sounded, because they would follow it up with, “not that all gay people have AIDS…but ya know, its a high risk community”. High. Risk. Community. As if college itself wasn’t a high risk community for STDs in general.

And you’d be surprised how many people think that, because we have health insurance and because we have drug cocktails that can treat the virus and keep its symptoms down, and because we have condoms that its really not a problem. But thats an American thing – we always fail to recognize things on a global level. Sure, we have those things here, but what about some of the worlds poorer countries—the ones that have just been completely ripped apart by AIDS?

And dont even get me started on the CRWW (christian right wing wackos) who insist that by making condoms and STD education so readily available, we are simply promoting sexual behaviors and spreading AIDS further. I can do nothing but shake my head at that attitude, because – clearly – by teaching abstinence only and failing to offer safe sex education, people will just stop having sex. Im sorry, what was the teenage pregnancy rates in catholic schools last year? yeah…thats clearly working well.

So, for the 25th anniversary of AIDS, I am doing my part to spread the education. Here are some AIDS related links…

An AIDS timeline

AIDS at 25

International HIV/AIDS Alliance

the great thing about vocabulary, is that the more words you know, the more creative you can be in your insults…

anorchous (an-ORK-us) adj : devoid or deprived of testicles; “has no balls”.