for anyone who doubts me about how evil the washing machine is, i have added a mugshot…

also, other pictures of the water damage may be found here

the insurance agency sent out a guy to do an estimate yesterday of the damage. he decided that large holes would have to be punched in the ceiling and some walls removed to allow for drying. the good news? at least now its not so difficult to work on the plumbing…since the pipes are all exposed and all.

i called out sick from work today. i woke up with a sore throat and a stuffy nose. normally i would go to work even if i was barely clinging to life, but today i decided that a sore throat and a stuffy nose was enough for me and i picked up the phone and without hesitation declared myself dying and therefore unable to work. then i went back to sleep till 10. it was lovely.

but then i cleaned and paid bills and went to lowes where i spent more money than i really should be spending on more items to finish up more of my many open projects on the gf’s house. then her roommate called—to tell me he accidentally flooded the house last night.

now let me just say that i am usually a very calm person. i rarely “flip out” per se. i dont really throw temper tantrums. im more of a pouting personality. but it is very difficult for me to remain calm when i am told that the house i have been so carefully working on for a year is filled with water. i did remain calm though. i decided i would finish my errands and then go inspect the damage. which is exactly what i did…

damage: first thing i had to do—punch a hole in the ceiling. second thing—jump out of the way and place trash can under large urine-colored stream of water escaping from hole in the ceiling. third thing—flip out.

water! streaming from my ceiling into a 30 gallon trashcan. NOT SOMETHING I WANT TO EVER SEE.

in the end it was ok. the gf came home within 30 mins of the hole in the ceiling incident. i wasnt happy about that. i really didnt want her coming home from such a long drive to see water all over the living room. but there wasnt much i could do about it. we got most of it cleaned up and while there is some water damage, its not terrible.

oh, and the washing machine… the cause of this whole incident…is the devil. picture a stack on top washer dryer unit—white (kinda cream actually)—leaning slightly to the right because when we moved it (crammed it) up the stairs we bent (mangled) it ever so slightly. now place two giant red horns on top of the dryer unit and a giant red pointy tail danging from behind. add some large flames shooting out from the mouth of the washer for dramatic effect. and that—is the washing machine, who apparently forgot how to stop filling with water when it was full.

the moral of this story? god knows when you are faking sick. and he doesnt like it. and you will pay.

tomorrow—im going to work. early.

well, i will save myself tons of embarassment and not give a detailed description of my weekend. i will only embarass myself slightly by giving a quick overview.

friday—was terribly excited for weekend. perhaps overly excited. i went out to dinner with two friends, and then there was some light drinking, and then the roommate appeared, and then another friend, and there was more drinking and much merriment. then it was decided we should all go back to my place and (what else) drink some more. which we did. ive been told. i wouldnt know, because i cant remember. there are pictures—these will not be posted.

saturday—recovery. followed by more recovery. many many hours of recovery. so much for working on the house. around 4 i was able to make it to the house (only because i solicited the best friend to drive) and begin grinding out mortar. due to my incredibly late arrival time i was unable to actually start replacing the mortar after i removed it, but a good 4×6 section of my wall is prepared for such when the time comes. i discontinued the mortar grinding after thinking to myself, “self, you are removing the support system from the very bottom of a brick wall put together very hastily in 1900, perhaps you should do it in sections so as to not remove…ya know…the ENTIRE support system for this very large, heavy wall that would hurt, a lot, if it were to fall on top of you and all your various power tools.” i nodded in agreement with myself and the best friend and i then cleaned up the absurd amount of mess that one little bit of mortar grinding can create.

then, in a startling act of poor judgement, i went out again to fells point on saturday night. i drove the roommate and his date. i did not drink. i just lied. i did drink, but only a little and with very light alcohol content. i love my car. it is a pretty car. i do not want to mangle its beautiful little silver nose on some big cement wall. so…as far as im concerned…i did not drink.

sunday—involved more work on the house. was able to stain the railings and the fireplace. i also discovered evil strange objects growing out of the brick on the inside of the fireplace where it had been closed off years ago. i did not explore these further. unfortunately my wood filler did not take the stain because i was cheap and purchased elmers instead of something better and it did not like golden pecan oil stain. well f* you elmer, i’ll paint it golden pecan if i have to. then i had a ton of soda before bed like you should never do and was up till 4am and was very very very tired at work on monday…

and that folks….was my weekend. boring i know.

but do not fear….there will be more interesting updates to follow. i promise. one day.

behold! rejoice! for it is FRIDAY! and in four little bitty minutes i will be exiting my little taupe cubicle world and walking at the fastest walking speed possible out of the building and straight to my car where i will proceed to sit in traffic for the next 45 minutes or so. but that is ok, because even sitting on 95 is better than sitting in little taupe cubicle world. and besides, my car has a radio which allows me to play country music at an extremely high volume with the windows rolled down so that the suffering of my fellow rush hour commuters might be increased three fold. steph hearts country music during rush hour.

i. am. so. happy. it. is. weekend. i dont think i could make that point any clearer. it is a slight disappointment that the girlfriend will be out of town…er…country…for the weekend, but i am making up for it by keeping myself extremely busy with home repairs during the day and drunken, irresponsible behavior at night. if youre lucky, there will be pictures later. but youll have to ask very nicely.

a bit ‘o business before i go: if anyone wants me to LINK their blog to this one, please let me know so that i might add you to the list of multiple blogs that i read during the day while i am supposed to be working. or, if you dont blog but you have a really cool site i should add to my links list, let me know and i will consider it. carefully. for multiple days before deciding whether your site is worthy of my highly demanded attention and praise. even then i might forget. but tell me anyway, you might get lucky.

well, i came back from the beach to discover that i had completely obliterated my wake-sleep cycle. i dont think i was really aware of this until around 10:10 am when i looked up from my computer screen staring to find my coworker peering over my cube wall. it went something like this:

me: staring at code covering computer screen and zoning out.
me: checking email.
me: reading morning news, drinking cup of highly caffienated beverage.
me: blinking and trying to focus on code that is covering my computer screen.
me: checking email
me: (thought bubble) hmm…look at that, theres a smudge on my computer screen. heeey, wow, look at that, theres a whole bunch…

co-worker: (interupting thought bubble) “um…are you coming to the meeting?”

me: “oh crap! its monday isnt it? i thought it was thursday…or monday at 9am…or any other time other than monday at 10am.”

yes, i have a meeting every monday at 10 am and have for the past 9 months or so that i have been in this position and not once have i missed it. but today…completely zoned out. i was so tired that i was actually unaware what day or time it was, only that i was there…somewhere. i think there might have even been a small bit of drool dripping from my chin as well.

it was a rough start to a rough day. but hopefully tomorrow i will be back on my normal schedule which is:
me pounding on the snooze button my alarm and waking up before i want to, whining, pounding fists, curling up in fetal position under blankets when alarm goes off again then finally kicking the blankets off in a rage and scaring the cat away as i smack the off button and scream at the alarm clock “OH ALRIGHT, FINE, YOU WIN. IM UP. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW YOU GODDAMN LITTLE…”

this might seem a little violent and uncalled for, but really, its perfectly normal and nothing to be concerned about. im just not a morning person. ive come to accept this and have moved on and you should too.

oh…and the beach…was wonderful. it was hot as balls, but it was anywhere but work, so it was wonderful. i got a little sun, cruised downtown rehobeth at night, and even did a little shopping.

no. i did not buy shoes.

WELL, digitalphiltrum has finally returned. its got a new look and a whole new management system (thanks to wordpress and jalbum) so i might actually maintain it this time (gasp!). if all goes well i will soon be discontinuing my livejournal blogging and relying solely on digitalphiltrum to keep everyone updated on my lifes happenings/countless tales of woe. so mark this page ladies and gents, ive got some serious writing to do…

but not until i get back from the beach. which is where im going. i leave tomorrow morning. arent you excited for me? good, i knew you would be. while my coworkers are stabbing their eyes out with pencils just so they can claim that they do not in fact “see the problem”, i will be slow roasting myself to a crisp light brown on the golden sands of dewey beach.

didnt that almost sound appealing?

yeah, hope and i are just going to deleware for the weekend. but hey, its anywhere but here and im all about that. when i return i will put an actual post in here and update my albums with some new pics (theres just a few shots from the old website in there now). until then, have a great weekend and ill see ya’ll next week…

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